I have been so busy since I had the tests done that I was able to keep my mind off of it for the most part. But today? I had today off work, no demanding sewing projects, and all the time in the world to wait by the phone. I felt like I was in college again, waiting by the phone wondering if that cute guy I gave my number to the night before was going to call.
After three phone calls, two emails, and one voicemail I finally got the call back from the doctor (I know, I was annoying but I am not a patient person). The call came at 5:30pm, possibly the absolute latest you can expect a call from the doc. At this point I had already given up. I was on my second glass of wine (don't judge) and tears of frustration were already on my cheeks. The waiting and the unknown were killing me. It had become too much. And then the phone rings. I immediately cleared my throat and hoped that he couldn't hear the crying in my voice.
Everything came back normal. As my doc put it: "it's a double edged sword". It's good that I am healthy but at the same time we still have no answers as to why I have miscarried three times. It's not like I wanted something to be wrong with me but I would like some answers, something we could do to fix this, whatever "this" may be.
As soon as Aunt Flow makes her grand appearance we will begin Round 2 of testing. Which will hopefully be soon, although there are no guarantees since my body has become a stranger to me as of late.
I will be praying for answers. and patience. and for my husband who has to deal with all of the emotions and hormones exploding from within me. I hope you will do the same.

advice, homework help, and when he is too bored to think of anything else to do. I attend as many baseball games and school functions as humanly possible. I have spent fifteen years looking out for him, making sure he is safe and happy. The funny thing is, over the past couple of years I have noticed him doing the same for me. 









So the colors may be off a little but holy moly that is the same outfit! And apparently I never outgrew the side bangs either. A little scary don't ya think? Bravo momma, you picked one outfit that I would still adore twenty years later. But don't pat yourself on the back just yet. You also put me in this:









That's it. Just an owl. A pretty darn cute owl if I do say so myself. But four hours for that little fella? Really? The good part though, is that I made him. He's mine and he is one of a kind. And I am proud of that fact but the realization that this whole logo thing is going to take me more than one sitting to create is finally sinking in. I like to do things start to finish so it was hard setting down the computer and walking away to pick it up again the next day. But completely necessary considering I like my eyeballs in my head and my sanity intact. 




