I have been so busy since I had the tests done that I was able to keep my mind off of it for the most part. But today? I had today off work, no demanding sewing projects, and all the time in the world to wait by the phone. I felt like I was in college again, waiting by the phone wondering if that cute guy I gave my number to the night before was going to call.
After three phone calls, two emails, and one voicemail I finally got the call back from the doctor (I know, I was annoying but I am not a patient person). The call came at 5:30pm, possibly the absolute latest you can expect a call from the doc. At this point I had already given up. I was on my second glass of wine (don't judge) and tears of frustration were already on my cheeks. The waiting and the unknown were killing me. It had become too much. And then the phone rings. I immediately cleared my throat and hoped that he couldn't hear the crying in my voice.
Everything came back normal. As my doc put it: "it's a double edged sword". It's good that I am healthy but at the same time we still have no answers as to why I have miscarried three times. It's not like I wanted something to be wrong with me but I would like some answers, something we could do to fix this, whatever "this" may be.
As soon as Aunt Flow makes her grand appearance we will begin Round 2 of testing. Which will hopefully be soon, although there are no guarantees since my body has become a stranger to me as of late.
I will be praying for answers. and patience. and for my husband who has to deal with all of the emotions and hormones exploding from within me. I hope you will do the same.