Confession...

Tonight at midnight.... I will be among the tweens/teens. That's right, I am going to see the newest Twilight movie.

I got sucked in to the first book at the St. Louis airport due to a delayed flight. We were stuck at the airport for FOUR hours and my choice of books included the Twilight series and an array of romance novels featuring Fabio on their covers. So I reluctantly grabbed Twilight and started reading. My poor hubby didn't hear a word from me until I shut the book only moments before we landed in Florida. I read it cover to cover without putting it down. When we got home I bought the rest of the books and was pretty much a hermit for the next week or so while I finished up the series.

I do admit that the movies no where near compare to the books but I can't help myself, I am still going to see it... at midnight. Those two hunks in the poster sure don't help matters much.

Happy Monday!

Since Mondays are typically full of the blues I decided to start "Happy Monday". Inspired my one of my favorite Peanuts books:

It's a great way to start off the week so I will just jump right in!

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Happiness is....

accomplishing a goal!

What an amazing feeling, am I right? Last week I had that sense of accomplishment wash over me when my Etsy shop was finally up and running. I had been working non-stop trying to create things I thought other people would like and that I would be proud to say I made as well as trying to come up with a name, slogan, business cards, logo, button, header, and so on and so on.

I never thought it was going to be easy but my goodness, I didn't know it was going to be that hard. But the harder you work the more accomplished you feel when you reach that goal. It also doesn't hurt that I happen to love doing it (minus the computer stuff. yuck. took me forever). And now that my stuff is out there for everyone to see, it feels amazing! We should probably celebrate don't you think?

Here is to accomplishing goals, working hard, and having fun while doing it! Try not to be jealous of my tiny champagne bottle, even though it is freakin awesome!

::passes out tiny champagne bottles to everyone! cheers::

They say third times a charm, right?

You may recall a time or two that I mentioned how little patience I have. Well I promise that what I am about to talk about has nothing to do with aforementioned impatience and was actually well thought out and discussed at length. So there.

We are officially trying to make a baby again! Woohoo!

We are in no hurry, it will happen whenever it is supposed to happen. We are just glad to be trying again and hoping for the best. So please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

When we do get pregnant again (and we will, because my body loves to get pregnant apparently) we will share the news when we are ready. Knowing us that probably wont be too long either as I'm sure you already know if you've read my post about our big mouths. So please don't ask me every day "Are you pregnant yet?" or any other variation of it because that is no fun. If I am pregnant I won't be able to lie to you (terrible, terrible liar) and I want to give our news on our own terms and if I'm not, well than I will either be angry or cry (neither of which are pretty). But as far as everything else goes, I am an open book so ask away! We can talk about cycles and how much I despise AF and her visits or baby related stuff (names, colors, birth, clothes, ah! I love it!) or how much fun it is just trying to make a baby (sorry mom for that visual but you kinda know that has to happen in order for a baby to appear nine months later). I think you get it though, we can talk, it's cool.

Wish us luck!

ps- Thought I would include a little conversation that happened while I was writing this between me, the hubs and Wentworth. Just for giggles. And remember, like Planet Fitness, this is a judgement free zone.

As Wentworth jumps right on the hubs "delicate" area

Hubs: "Wentworth! Easy there! Don't crush my nuts we're trying to make a baby!"

Me: "We should get you a nut protector or something"

Hubs: ::giving me the side eye:: "You mean like a cup?"

Me: ::buries face in pillow:: "Oh, yeah..."

Open for Business!

So the "weekend" came a little early and my Etsy shop is up and running as of about 5 minutes ago! Please go take a look and let me know what you think. Just click on the logo to be directed to the site, or you can go to the web address, www.mrsmegannicole.etsy.com

I have worked really hard to try and create something for everyone so I hope you see something you like. Here is an example of what you will find at Love, Megan:

A HUGE thank you to everyone who has encouraged me to get this started. Even if you simply complemented something of mine you saw, you helped push me in the right direction. So thank you! That especially goes to my hubby, he has been so supportive and helpful through this whole process!!

If you want to spread the love and support Love, Megan by adding my button to your own blog I would be really grateful:

<center><a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/MrsMeganNicole/"><img border="0" src="http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a68/Megumz/EtsyButton-2.jpg" /></a></center>

Meet Vicky!

Poor Ms. Singer finally reached the end of her sewing life. During my last few months of using her I spent more time fixing her than actually sewing anything, so it was no surprise to me when she finally broke beyond repair. So what do you do when something breaks and you can't fix it? Buy a new one!

That's Vicky. She's the new girl.

When I went to go look at sewing machines I was amazed how much more advanced they all were compared to what I had been using. In fact, I'm pretty sure the lady working there chuckled a little when I described my old...ahem I mean "vintage", machine. The problem though, with getting a new fancy sewing machine is that I had absolutely no clue how to use it. Lucky for me they have this great deal that when you buy one of their machines you get free unlimited owners classes! How awesome is that? I had my first class yesterday and it was great. I learned the basics of my machine and I go back next week to learn all about the lovely embroidery stitching. Exciting!

As for other exciting news, you may have noticed a new pretty little button that takes you to my Etsy shop on the side. And if you clicked on it you may also have noticed that there is nothing up yet. Well there will finally be items listed sometime this weekend! I'll make a bigger announcement when it's 100% ready! So stay tuned :)

Life is a roller coaster

The past year and a half has been quite the roller coaster for our family. We started on the high of being in love and engaged in the almost perfect little bubble we called life. The first low came when my dad had his accident and was rushed to the hospital. An even bigger low followed three weeks later, when he passed away. On that very same day another high began creeping in when we found out we were pregnant.

Two weeks after losing my dad and finding out I was pregnant, I graduated from college, another high. The next month brought a steady middle ground as I grieved the loss of my father while simultaneously planning both a wedding and for our future as a family of three. Then another extreme low came. The week before our wedding we found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat. On the Monday, the week of our wedding, I had a D&C. Later that week, despite the IV marks on my hands and the large pad I had to wear, our roller coaster reached a new level of high as I married my best friend.

The year that followed brought many highs and lows that included honeymooning in Italy, starting new jobs, leaving old ones, birthdays, losing my grandma, a first anniversary, another miscarriage, lots of grieving, and a new addition to our family (in the form of an adorable little puppy). It has been quite the ride. So it should come, as no surprise, that my emotions are a bit out of whack at times. Most of my days are good. normal.

But I also have days when the reality of losing my dad is overwhelming and the fear of not being able to have a normal pregnancy surpasses my usual optimism. Those days suck. I think James Morrison says it best:

"And I know that it's a wonderful world but I can't feel it right now

Well, I thought that I was doing well but I just wanna cry now"

I do know that I am so fortunate for the love that surrounds me. I have the worlds best husband and great friends and family who have all been there on that roller coater right along side us. Sometimes it just slips away from me. I had one of those days today. Then my husband walked in the door and gave me a big hug as I scurried out the door and I smiled a real smile for the first time all day. And then I sat around a tv with a group of amazing ladies and as we talked, ate yummy snacks and laughed at terrible reality tv and I felt like myself again.

Life is a roller coaster, and it's different for everyone. The best thing we can do is surround ourselves with people who will celebrate our highs and be right by our side through the lows.... and not sit behind anyone who looks like they might puke.

Dad's

Oh Father's Day, we meet yet again... This is my second Father's Day without my Dad and it is no easier than the first one. To say that I miss him would be the understatement of a lifetime. The radio adds suggesting you take your dad to their restaurant make me want to scream, "I would do anything to take him there!" and the card commercials make me cry like a baby (even the funny ones). But that's not what today is about. Today is about celebrating your Dad, not wallowing in sorrow. And I know he wouldn't want me to cry all day, so I wont. I will be positive. I will make it through the day with a smile on my face, just like every other day, because that's how he would want it. I will remember the good and celebrate him and not forget about my other "dad's" who also mean so much to me.

"Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad."

-Author Unknown

To my Daddy

Growing up I was always a daddy's girl. When I was little we bonded over coloring books, wrestling matches on the living room floor, sports of all kinds, and conversations about stuffed animals. I wanted to be just like you. I was so lucky to have you to look up to. You taught me how to throw a football and gave me the confidence to go after my dreams. You were my world.

As I got older our bond changed. I was too big to wrestle and too "cool" for stuffed animals. I feel that this is the unfortunate stage where a lot of dad's lose their little girls but thankfully, I wasn't ready to stop being your little girl just yet. Our bond switched to late night movies, baseball games, school work, and conversations about boys.

You were always so adamant that I get the most out of my education and because of that I made sure to graduate college on time, even in your absence. You told me that I deserved to be treated like a princess and should accept nothing less. You showed me the lengths that love can take you and taught me how to love unconditionally. You never pushed me to do anything, only encouraged me, and because of that I pushed myself. All my life I always knew that no matter what you were on my side.

I knew that you would like the hubs, you had so much in common and he treats me so well that I was positive you would be able to see in him what I did. And of course you did. It didn't take long for signs to begin to show. You actually referred to him by name instead of "that guy" (as you called every guy in my life, both friends and past boyfriends). It means so much to me that you were able to give him your blessing to ask me to marry him. I only wish you would have been there to walk me down the aisle on our wedding day.

Losing you has changed me and shaped me but not nearly as much as having you in my life did.

To my Dad-in-law

I can still remember, almost word for word, the speech you gave at our rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. Your words were so kind and sincere, they showed me once again how lucky I am to be a part of this family. You have set such an amazing example as not only a father but also as a man and a husband. Because of you, my husband is such a gentleman.

Every time we visit you, a new surprise awaits. Whether it's candle making on Christmas day, a trip to the antique store, or visiting historical sites, it's always something new for me. Not to mention, you make the most amazing omelets :) Thank you for just being you and for accepting me into your family.

To my Pappaw

Not everyone can say their grandpa has a ponytail and rides motorcycles. You have somehow managed to be both wise and wild at the same time and I cannot imagine a grandpa any other way. I loved hanging out at your laundry mat all day as a kid. The endless amounts of quarters for arcade games and computer coloring programs were like a dream come true. You were always so cool. And now, seeing the way you have been there for all of us after my dad died, has shown me a different side of you. Your weekly visits brighten my moms day and your attendance at my brothers baseball games put such a big smile on his face. I don't know where we would all be without you. Your jokes always make me giggle and you always have the most interesting things to talk about. Your influence in mine and my brothers lives has been incredible. Thank you for always being there.

Please, go give your dad a hug. Today and every day, tell him how much you love him. You never know when will be the last time you will be able to say it, so say it often. Cherish every single moment.

On the road

Yesterday we headed down to Ft. Myers for a lovely Father's Day weekend surprise with the in-laws. This was Wentworth's first road trip so we were pretty nervous... but we made it the whole way without any accidents! Although he did insist on sitting on my lap most of the ride (he is definitely getting too big for that by the way).

I'm pretty sure we packed more for the dogs than for ourselves....

Boomer really enjoyed having the backseat to himself as you can see. Now off to spend time with the in-laws! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend :)

Battles with my bod (pt 1)

This is where I divulge way too much personal information and speak of the inner workings of my body... feel free to back away now and if you decide to continue on anyway, don't say I didn't warn you ;)

I started miscarrying on April 1st, almost 3 months ago. Per the doctors orders we decided to wait three cycles before trying to make babies again to allow my body to heal properly. So logically you would think that since it has been three months we should be coming up on my third cycle, therefore, approaching baby-making time. Well, my body decided to throw logic out the window and go rogue.

Instead of beginning my third cycle post-miscarriage, I am still impatiently awaiting my second. My body is probably pretty confused considering only a few months ago I would have been ecstatic about AF being more than two weeks late and now I am cursing it for the very same reason. But, my goodness, where is she hiding?

I expected my first cycle to arrive at its own leisure and didn't complain when a month and a half passed before any sign of AF, but then I expected normalcy to return. My body usually performs like clockwork and after the first miscarriage it returned to that clockwork almost immediately. I've mentioned this before but let me say it again, I am not a patient person. Waiting three months was long enough in my eyes and now that my body is tricking me into waiting even longer, my allotted patience quota is beyond its capacity. And those lovely cramps that have been lingering for the past two weeks sure don't help matters.

So AF if you're listening, please stop torturing me and show up already. Just two more times and then you can take a nice nine month vacation, how does that sound? Pretty reasonable, in my opinion.

The Bachelorette

Here is a screen shot of my score sheet after the first episode just to give you an idea of how serious this is haha:

(not bad after the first night eh?)

My remaining fellas:

Kirk. He was my first pick, although I was seriously regretting that decision when he busted out his little scrapbook the first night. He's starting to grow on me a little and it appears that as long as he keeps his mouth shut and pressed up against Ali's, he's gonna be around for a while ;) She only wants him for his body....

Roberto. Right now my guess would be that he is my golden ticket to the final two. Although I may be getting a little ahead of myself considering that typically, on reality tv, if it seems to good to be true than it is. Hopefully he has no dirty little secrets up his sleeve and can keep earning points! Plus he is adorable and super sweet!

Craig R. Not gonna lie, he's kinda lame. They don't show him much a

nd hardly ever with Ali.... and he doesn't do anything crazy. Don't think he will be around much longer.

Kasey. Hmmm, he is a bit of a mystery at the moment but according to previews (which are often deceiving) he goes a bit crazy on tonights episode. We can only hope, right? Ok he actually seems sweet so hopefully it's only a little crazy.

Jesse. He's my Missouri boy! And even though he thinks denim shirts classify as formal-ware, I like him. He has that sweet mid-western charm and probably likes sweet tea. His only down fall is his age, I'm afraid he may be a tad bit too inexperienced with the ladies :( Next bachelor?? He has my vote!

Even though I am totally cheering my guys on (hello, I would like to win dinner and drinks please), my true favorite guy right now is Mr. Chris L. What a sweetie! Plus they seem like the could be a real life couple and that's the ultimate goal right? Or at least at one point that was the goal of this show....

Where the magic happens!!

I'm talking about my sewing room of course, get your minds out of the gutter people!

Since I have been spending a lot of time with my darling Singer lately, I thought I would introduce everyone to her and her home. I have to warn you though, this room is comprised of all the "reject" furniture that either someone didn't want or didn't fit anywhere else in the house, but I happen to love it :)

Everyone meet Miss Singer --------------->

She lives in my "sewing room" and sits on a lovely $10 desk that my dad got at a garage sale for her many years ago. Next to her is a can for pencils/pens/scissors, a cherry coke zero to help feed my caffeine addiction, my laptop, and my favorite picture of my dad for inspiration and motivation. Above her hangs our old bathroom mirror/shelf which now holds thread, paints, glue, and lots of other random crafting goodies.

For now I have to work on the floor due to lack of work space but my marvelous husband is going to build me a wrap-around desk in the near future! Which will be awesome because my back hates me for sitting on the floor, hunched over for hours on end cutting fabric.

And I think I'm going to need some new assistants... mine are always sleeping on the job! Some help they are. geez

(sneak peak: you will see those fabric selections again soon as items in my etsy shop!)

Onto more floor activities. Nope that's not a table for kids you see there, it's where I make my fabric flowers. I bought this tiny table my sophomore year of college because it matched my comforter set at the time and have never used it. I'm not really sure what you're supposed to do with a tiny table but at least it has a purpose for now. Plus it just happens to match the color scheme that was forced upon this room.

Of course, I have to have some entertainment while cutting, sewing, ironing, glueing, etc. And my pups obviously aren't doing a whole lot, so I usually have movies/tv on in the background just so it's not super quiet. And in case you were wondering, yes that's Harry Potter on the screen... and just out of shot is a large stack of embarrassing movies that I am ashamed of because not only do I watch them but I own them.

The hand-me-down book shelf also holds my prized Albert Pujols autographed baseball, my favorite peanuts book from my dad, mini UCF helmet, and lots of books and photo albums. And leaning against it is my terribly unorganized collection of gift wrapping. It's not pretty, I know, but the closet is filled with boxes so it has no where else to go.

Hopefully in the next few months I will updating with pictures of the renovation the hubs plans on doing in there! But until then, this is it. Where I spend all day Monday - Friday and even a good amount of time most weekends. I hope you enjoyed the mini-tour!

New & Shiny!

Thanks to Blair and Becca I have a fabulous new blog design! It's awesome right? I love it!

The lovely Blair hosted a slew of give aways on her fantastic blog, Heir to Blair, and I won a gift certificate to Jumping Jax Designs! I was so thrilled because I am terrible with computer stuff (yup, I say "stuff" because I don't even know what it's called). And Becca (from JJD) is extremely talented so I knew I would end up with an incredible and unique design.

Guess what? I was right! And not only is Becca talented but she is also soooo nice! I loved working with her to come up with something that was right for me and my blog. If you're in search for a way to spice up your blog or make it more you (which is what i wanted) than look no further, she is your gal.

You will also be hearing a little bit more about Becca soon as I will be doing my first ever give away on her blog! It will also mark the opening of my etsy shop: Love, Megan. So stay tuned for some sneak peaks and updates on that as well :)

ps- THANK YOU BECCA!! You're awesome!

Quirks

When you move in with someone, you really learn a lot about yourself. Until the hubs and I started living together I didn't know that some of my quirks were, well, quirks.

When the hubs (boyfriend at the time) walked into our tiny one bedroom apartment one day after work and caught me on the couch coloring in an Alice in Wonderland coloring book he tilted his head sideways and simply asked, "Whatcha doin?" To which I replied, "Oh just watching tv." So he put his things down and came over to sit next to me on the couch and then the head tilt came again, followed by another question, "Whatcha watchin?" When I responded with "Hannah Montana" he started cracking up. When I asked what was so funny he said, "You're watching the disney channel and coloring in a kids coloring book?" I was shocked! You mean to tell me that not all 24 year old, college graduates color with crayons and watch Hannah Montana??? What? Since when?

He also claims that most people don't consider popcorn to be a major food group and that it's not acceptable to be eaten as dinner... especially not for three nights in a row. Again, I have to ask, Whaaaat? But but but I've been eating popcorn for dinner since middle school! And if he thinks that's bad then I won't mention the oreos I had for breakfast...

There's also the fact that I am irrationally terrified of birds but collect penguin and owl things. Even I admit that's a little weird but really, if you think about it, penguins are like their own species right? They swim and don't fly, not birds at all! And owls? Well I never actually see them so in mind they only exist as cartoons and cute ceramic cookie jars.

Some of my quirks take a little more adjusting to then others. Like the fact that I have to sleep with two fans. 1) the ceiling fan and 2) a table fan that sits on my night stand and blows directly on my face. Our first dozen or so sleepovers consisted of the hubs curled up in all of the blankets in the corner of the bed... shivering. But now, four years later, he actually likes both fans on and on the occasion that I come home and he is already in bed I catch him with my fan on too.

And you know how most puppies get really hyper and run around the house for like 15 minutes and then sleep for an hour only to repeat the process again once they're rested? Yeah, I do that too. I don't literally run around the house (at least not usually) but I do get these bursts of energy and talk a mile a minute and can't sit still. This also takes some getting used to for most people. But guess what? This is one of the hubs quirks too! Of course, he's not usually hyper when I'm hyper, so one of us is usually bugging the other but hey, it works.

Then there's my whole set of ocd qualities (laundry must be folded a very specific way, color coordinated closet, pantry must be organized by food group, etc). And those are probably the hardest for the hubs to get used to. But he does a great job of accepting all of my quirks with a smile and occasional laugh!

Our quirks are what make us who we are and make us unique. Embrace them!

What are some of your quirks?

Baby Envy

Let me start by saying that I adore facebook for allowing me to see all of the little newborns of family and friends that I may not get the chance to see otherwise, I really do. And those videos everyone puts up of their little ones saying silly words or taking their first steps? So presh! I swoon at each baby giggle and my heart melts at the pictures of the mommy and daddy seeing their little babe for the first time. But for crying out loud it is pure torture!

I know my time will come and things happen for a reason and blah, blah, blah. But I am not a patient person, never have been. I want a baby now! (In case you haven't noticed, the baby fever has set in full force again, I'm pretty sure you didn't notice though...)

In less than two months we will be able to start trying again and up until about a week ago that time frame seemed reasonable. But now? Oh. my. goodness. It seems like forever. I can't go to target without "walking by" the little girls section (o, those itty-bitty dresses) and the hubs and I both get all mushy at sports authority when we see those wittle baseball gloves. But at least I only look, it could be a lot worse. I mean it's not like I bought an adorable mini snoopy tshirt for our future little nugget or anything... nope... I totally wouldn't do that... And I definitely wouldn't buy two of them...

I will try to stop drooling over onesies and jogging strollers as I continue to "patiently" wait for our turn at parenthood. Because I know it will come when the time is right and when it does we will be ready. This story will have it's happy ending, I have faith (and hopefully an increasing amount of patience).