Nine days left of my maternity leave. Only nine more days. And then life as a working momma begins.
I have really enjoyed the past eleven weeks, where I could fit all of my responsibilities neatly in my arms. I would love to continue on as a stay at home mom but that is just not what is best for our family right now and I only want what is best for us all. However, I am fortunate to be returning to a job I really like where I get to work with my bestie and some other really awesome women. Also? I get to do so part time.
When you work 12 hour shifts at the hospital, part time = two days a week. Not too bad right? Although it gives me extreme anxiety to even think about being away from my baby girl for twelve plus hours I know she will be in good hands with her Daddy and Grammy while I am gone.
Some of my concerns are ridiculous and others completely rational, but I think they are all pretty normal. Will Sadie know I'm gone? Will she miss me? Will she be sad? I really don't want her to be sad... And then there are my concerns about breast feeding/pumping. Sadie has had nothing but breast milk since day one and I will miss being the one who feeds her while I am at work. What if I don't pump enough while at work and it messes up my supply? What I haven't left enough of a supply for her at home? Will she be crying for her milk because she isn't used to waiting for the bottle to warm up?
All of those worries for being away just two days a week. And not even two consecutive days. Yikes.
Mostly though, I will just miss her. A lot. But I know it will get easier and it will be good for the both us. For now I am just going to enjoy our uninterrupted time together and not think about this again until I have to :)