Decisions, Decisions

From the first moment someone asked me "what do you want to be when you grow up?" until I was in middle school my answer was always the same: veterinarian (except I really just said vet because that word is way too complicated for a six year old). And then I realized that being a vet involved more than just playing with puppies all day. You had to see animals in pain and sick and also? You saw more than just puppies. Like snakes and stuff. No thank you.

The question then arose again in eighth grade when I had to do a report "All About Me." Due to my current obsession with Ally McBeal I chose lawyer as my desired profession. I even put a picture of the Ally McBeal cast under my three paragraphs of why I wanted to be a lawyer. Those reasons included things such as: I can argue pretty well and you get to wear business suits. Clearly I knew what I was talking about.

Over the next couple of years, as I started high school, that particular question was erased from my mind and replaced with thoughts of boys, sports, and friends. I didn't give it a single thought again until my Senior year when applying for colleges and even then the decision of which college to attend took priority. But after giving it some thought I decided that I wanted to be a teacher.

This decision seemed pretty final going into orientation my freshmen year of college but I was "strongly encouraged" to look into other options. So I did. I took intro classes to a few different majors. I considered business, interior design, advertising, and just about everything else under the sun but remained "undecided" until my junior year. That's when I came to the conclusion that I just couldn't picture myself doing anything other than education. So I got my degree in Elementary Education, I completed my internships and fell even more in love with teaching. It felt like that is what I was made for. And then, with only a couple weeks left of my final internship (which I was loving) and a month before graduation some life changing events occurred.

When it was all said and done, I was a different person. Not better or worse. Just different. And that passion for teaching? I lost it. It didn't seem to fit anymore. I tried, oh how I tried, to get it back. To deny it. I was lost and suddenly didn't know where my life was going. But I knew I didn't want to teach anymore. Here I am, at twenty four years old, struggling with that very same question: "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Well I am going to give it another shot. I got a new job, one with benefits, full-time hours and good pay. One that sounds perfect for the new me. One that offers a journey to a new career. Here's to hoping it fits!