"baby. baby. baby. i really want a baby. when will it be our time? baby. baby. am i pregnant? my boobs hurt, that must mean i am pregnant. baby. baby. cramps. negative pregnancy test after test. baby. baby. baby. why is this so hard for us? i must be pregnant. these hormones are killing me. i am two weeks late why are all of these tests negative? baby. baby...."
I think that pretty much sums up the loop my mind has been stuck on. And in case any of that was misleading, no I am not pregnant. The whole process has really taken its tole on me as of lately. My optimism takes a beating each month as my hopes rise and fall so rapidly. I am finally feeling all of that stress I had building up and it's just making me so tired.
We are still trying and I am doing my best to just relax and let things happen. It's just hard for me to think of anything else at the moment but I am working on it. Bare with me.